The power of commitment

My brother Rob and Holly have been together 15 years. Yet last week, as I watched them exchange marriage vows, my heart fluttered with reawakened awareness. What power there is in making a commitment—out loud and before the world.

Whatever the relationship is that calls you---whether to a man, to a woman, to an ideal, to a vocation, to a community---until a public commitment is made, until you say “YES” out loud, you are merely showing a certain degree of interest. When you’re interested in something, you adhere to it only as long as circumstances and pleasure calls you.

Ah, but a public commitment says, “Listen up, world. I’m in this for the long haul: when it’s easy and happy and even when it’s tough and difficult. Whatever the future may hold, I will hold steady.”

There is strength and power in making a commitment. Is today a good day to ask yourself, “What am I committed to?"

All About Poop

I was at fault. And I told her so.

I had offered to walk a girlfriend’s little dog while she was away, and being a novice, forgot to take along what every conscientious dog walker should have: a bag for poop. Sure enough, little Mitzi unloaded on the corner of a householder’s yard.

The householder was outside clipping her bushes. When she saw Mitzi’s dirty deed, her eyes narrowed, her jaw clenched, and waving her shears, she marched my way.

I tried to intercept. “I don’t blame you for being angry. I’m so sorry! Would you have a plastic bag or just a piece of newspaper? I’ll pick it up right now.”

Oh no! The householder didn’t care that I was sorry. I should have brought my own supplies! I was a disgrace! My dog was a disgrace! She’d had enough of dogs pooping on her lawn! I should go home, get my own bag, and come back to pick it up.

“But I’m three blocks away. If you would just have an old piece of newspaper…the want ads maybe?”

No, no! Absolutely not!

She was more than angry. More than furious. She was enraged! With her imprecations ringing in my ears, I slunk away with Mitzi.

But after I delivered Mitzi, I went back. With a poop bag in hand.

The poop had been picked up.

I rang her doorbell. Timidly I held up my bag. “I did come back…”

Through the screen she snarled, “Too late! I picked it up! But it’s not fair!” Slam!

Whew. The householder's rage seemed to go so far beyond the actual incident, that I began to wonder. At a deeper level, could she be responding to a different reality?

Maybe she’d been going along, living her life, clipping her bushes, just trying to be a good person when suddenly, into her life had come some unexpected
s - - t. Something she felt she didn’t deserve! That wasn’t fair!

It can happen to us all, can’t it? In big and small ways. A boss lays off workers. A spouse asks for a divorce. Our investments disappear. Or a strange dog poops on our carefully tended lawn.

Those are times when we do want to scream, “It’s not fair! I don’t deserve this.”

But maybe the best that any of us can do—-really ---is to simply pick up and go on. If we let rage get the best of us, we won’t hear if someone says “I’m sorry” or “I’d like to help.” And then, no matter who actually picks up the poop, we will still be holding it in our hearts.

Can You Take a Day Off?

Every so often you hear something described in such a way that it makes you sit up and take notice. It happened when my friend Brian said, “People say that Americans are afraid of leisure. Of taking time off from work. But it must go deeper than that. Otherwise why would God, speaking through Moses, have felt all humans needed to be ordered to take a day off?”

Sure enough, for those who follow the Judeo-Christian path, there it is: one of the Ten Commandments: “For six days you shall labor and do all your work. But the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. Keep it holy.” In Genesis, even God took the seventh day off to rest from his work. (Gen 2:2)

For 3 weeks, I observed myself to see how well I keep this Commandment. Am I willing to let one day in my crowded week be a day to be lie fallow? To step away from my constant connections to social media and the internet? To set aside my “Things to Do” list?

What I saw is this: though I took time for church, I was a busy bee after that. Running errands. Catching up on housework. And connecting on line, of course.

Yet Holy Leisure, by giving me a break from my primary work, offers an opportunity to become a more Whole human being. It’s a time in which my soul can steep itself in being, not doing.

One of my biggest challenges has been giving up my compulsion to go on line. Instead, I’m trying to feel “okay” about turning off my computer for a day. (Is that your gasp I hear?) To feel okay about taking a Sunday nap. Or putting my feet up and reading a book. Or, if I exercise, to do it out of doors where I can experience God’s beautiful natural world.

I’d love to hear from others who have decided to “Keep holy the Sabbath.” And especially from anyone who might be joining me in shutting down their computers for a day!

Let's make today a random day!

Here's an interesting fact about horses: a horse at random is one with all four hooves momentarily off the ground. Photography has verified this phenomenon. For that tiny random instant, you might say the horse is flying.
Mostly, we use the word “random” in a different way, referring to something happening by chance, without design, unplanned.
Every so often, I find that I am so wholly engaged in an action that I am lifted beyond myself. It is a joyful feeling and seems to occur when, like the galloping horse, I have committed myself totally. Though I don’t feel it is something I can plan, perhaps I can create the circumstances by giving myself totally—without fear or reservation--to what I am doing.
Let’s make today one in which we find ourselves joyfully at random!

Daring to fly

Diana and Paul, a 30-something couple in Colorado have no children, but they do have two dogs and a large parrot. While I was visiting this summer, their parrot escaped their house and flew to the top of an Aspen tree in their back yard. But the silly bird, though it knew it could fly up, didn’t realize it also had the power to fly down. It was frightened. Diana had to cajole and cajole until finally--very gingerly and carefully—the parrot crept down the tree, branch by branch.
Even as I laughed, I wondered: how often do I fail to realize I have the power to fly? It can happen to us all. The Apostle Peter, while walking across the water toward his Master, Jesus, was suddenly clutched by fear. Immediately he lost his power.
My year-old grandson stood and walked as he pushed his toy lawnmower. But he didn’t yet realize could walk without holding on, so away from the toy, he dropped back to his knees and crawled.
It may seem scary at first to dare to spread our wings and fly. But if we don't dare--if we don't trust--how will we learn what power resides within us---just waiting to be tapped?

Taking life as it comes

Last winter, I was put on a six-weeks’ wait for surgery on my knee. It meant I had to reschedule a speech I’d been invited to give in another city.
At 4 p.m. on the Friday before surgery I got a voicemail message: my surgery was postponed a week.
Oh no! A delay would interfere with my travel plans.
All weekend I stewed. In an endless loop, I mentally argued why I needed my surgery on the original date. Why it wasn’t fair to make me wait longer. How my flight had a nonrefundable ticket. By Sunday, I had a giant chip on my shoulder. Except….
Except that sometimes we hear the right words just when we need them. In church on Sunday, Fr. Bill McVay said “We lock ourselves into suffering by wanting things to be different from what they are. When something isn’t going your way, ask God to help you be open to what is.”
Those words helped me enter the surgical scheduler’s office on Monday with a different attitude. Calmly, I explained the problem of my non-refundable airline ticket.
The scheduler was sympathetic. Another doctor’s mother had died unexpectedly, so his colleagues were picking up his cases. "But let me what I can do,” she said.
She managed to get me back on my original schedule.
Would that have happened if I had angrily stormed into her office? Would she have tried so hard on be behalf?
It’s okay for us to try and affect an outcome. But ultimately, life is what it is. Peace comes when we learn to accept that.

Fall 7 Times, Stand Up 8

Last week, I visited my two little grandchildren in San Diego. Brady is an adorable baby, and right at that age between crawling and walking. I watched him stand up, take a tentative step, and then plop! Down he'd fall on his well-padded behind. But he didn’t cry, he just pulled himself up again. Babies don't get discouraged. They never say to themselves, "See? This proves it. I'll never walk." To babies, falling is merely part of the learning process.

Watching Brady reminded me of a prayer in my book, Grace on the Go for Young Moms.
I titled it “Fall Seven Times, Get Up Eight.”

Watching a baby learn to walk
Is a gentle reminder that God doesn't count
The times we fall, either.
Help me remember that in the Creator's eyes
I am judged no more, no less
Than a baby who is taking first steps.