An Inspiring birthday story

I have had a wonderful birthday week---friends and sibs and kids all remembered my special day. At a “girlfriends” party, each of the 20 women guests shared aloud their favorite birthday memory.

My favorite story came from Ruth. Twenty years ago, she was new to the city, and had just accepted a job as the Religious Formation Director at a local church. On her birthday, Ruth didn’t yet know any people to celebrate with. But at about ten that morning, her doorbell rang. Standing outside was the pastor of the church where she had started working. He waved toward a red convertible at the curb where three women passengers sat, all waving to Ruth. “I noticed in your personnel file that today is your birthday,” he said. “So I invited three of our parishioners that I think you’ll enjoy knowing, and I’m taking you all on a birthday picnic.”

Sure enough, Fr. David had packed a picnic lunch and he and the four women enjoyed a splendid outdoor feast at a popular local park. Where did he get the convertible? He rented it! Did Ruth and the three women connect as friends? “We’re good friends to this day!” she said.

Here’s a question for you: Do you know someone who is about to celebrate a birthday? At any age, we love to be remembered on the anniversary of the day we were born. Maybe now is a good time to phone or send a birthday card.

A Quick Way To Give Up Resentment---Before it Occurs!

Today, while I was in the fitness center’s swim pool doing a water walk, a swimmer hopped in to share the lane. He was a splasher! And as his splashes hit me, I felt a moment of irritation, quickly followed, I am thankful to say, by this thought:

"No one owes me anything. But I owe all good to all people.”

I learned this years ago from my friend Don Campbell, who started each day by saying those words aloud. “It’s like giving up resentment in advance,” said Don. Instead of holding on to expectations for another’s behavior, we only hold on to an expectation for ourselves.

One of his favorite examples is a trip to the grocery store. “So, the checkout person is irritable? Hey, she doesn’t owe you a smile. But you’re going to smile at her because that’s the way you want to live.”

This morning, Don’s words reminded me that the swimmer didn’t owe me a non-splashy swim. I could simply turn my head as he swam by, and smile in a friendly way when I left the pool.

And the swimmer smiled back!

Try these words as you begin your day. It might give you a new way to respond to a whole host of petty irritations.

Sacred Scrabble, Anyone?

My spousal partner Jim and I have fallen in love—with Scrabble. We’ve been playing a game nearly every night for the past two weeks. As I think about the way we create words and look for new combinations of letters on the Scrabble board, it reminds me of the way WORDS power our lives.
Each day we reach out to others—a family member, work colleague, friend, store clerk—using words to communicate our needs, desires, hopes.
Sometimes we discover that the words we’re using don’t quite connect with another’s needs, desires, hopes.
It’s a little bit like Scrabble. I might have a perfectly good word but if it won’t connect to another player’s word or if it’s too big for the allotted spaces, the word doesn’t do me any good. I need to re-arrange the letters on my tiles until I find a word that will fit.
I don’t get emotional when a Scrabble word doesn’t work; it’s a game, after all.
Why do we get so emotional—angry, hurt, defensive--- about the words we use to communicate with another? Today, if some communication of mine isn’t working, maybe I can think along lines of Sacred Scrabble, and find within myself the grace to laugh, shrug, and re-arrange what I say until I do make a connection.

Can prayer ease money worries?

I hope so! I believe so! And my latest book, GRACE ON THE GO: Powerful Prayers to Ease Money Worries which will be published in April, 2009 by Morehouse Press (an imprint of Church Publishing)contains many hopeful prayers for readers.
Here is one of my favorites: 19 easy-to-memorize words which I hope can act as a daily reminder for how to think and act around all that you have. I call it

The Simple Living Prayer
Clutter less
Pray more
Consume less
Give more
Want less
Enjoy more
And always, always, give thanks to God.
Copyright@Barbara Bartocci

Does wishing make it so?

Isabella, my three year old granddaughter, said to her daddy, “Put on your shoes, Daddy, and let’s go get Grammy at the airport.” How sweet, I thought, when my son Andy emailed me her comment. She wanted to see me!
But here’s the rub—I wasn’t at the airport.
A month ago, though, when Isabella put on her shoes,climbed into her car seat, and her daddy drove to the airport---there was Grammy! So Isabella figured that all she had to do was repeat her actions and Grammy would appear.
She’s at the age when children think, “If I cover my eyes, nobody can see me.”
We grown-ups chuckle at children’s mistaken understanding of the way the world works, but it occurs to me that sometimes we do the same thing---especially where God is concerned.
If I pray, “Oh Lord, please make such-and-such happen in my life,” and it doesn’t happen, [If Grammy isn’t at the airport], I may sigh and say, “Huh! Jesus said, ‘Ask and you shall receive,’ but look, I did ask and I didn’t receive. Guess that proves it, prayer doesn’t work.”
Nooooo. If Isabella doesn’t see Grammy when she wants to see her, this doesn’t mean Grammy will never appear. It means Grammy comes on her time frame, not Isabella’s.
And we need to be clear about what we are asking God for. Am I motivated to call into play God’s kingdom on earth? ["Your kingdom is come when your will is done"] Am I praying to be open to God’s will—rather than my own? To believe that God has my greater good in mind?
Or am I merely “wishing” and calling it prayer? Like a little girl who thinks she can wish her Grammy into being there?
Maybe this is something to think about.

A Bicycle Meditation

I love to bicycle, and part of the fun is the camaraderie with my bicycle buddies. Weekly, we’ll pedal about 18 miles through urban streets to our favorite breakfast stop, a funky little restaurant where where the oatmeal is hot, the pancakes are big, and the price is low.
Talk is always light-hearted and laugh-filled. We’re an eclectic mix of people: A dentist, a real-estate developer, a woman who cleans houses, a teacher, a brick layer, a retired mail carrier, an IT manager, a yoga teacher…what we have in common is our love of cycling. New people to the group introduce themselves by first names only, and instead of that All-American question, “What do you do?” the first question asked is usually, “So, how long you been cycling?”
If you belong to a group that is built around a particular interest—whether it’s hiking or quilting or singing barbershop harmony—you know how easily people of myriad backgrounds can get along when everyone shares a particular focus.
Today it occurred to me that all major world religions share a particular focus. At the core, all are centered on the idea of love for one another. Whether Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, or Hindus…read deeply in any sacred scriptures and a loving concern for one another is voiced.
Just for today, wouldn’t it be wonderful if people everywhere could focus on what we have in common and ignore the superficial differences that separate us? Wouldn’t it be great if we could relate to one another in the same light-hearted and generous-spirited way that I see with my bicycle buddies?
It's something to think about.

Stay wide-eyed and adventurous

During the Olympics in China, I couldn't help but remember when I traveled to China 40 years ago. It was 1948. I was a little girl, island hopping across the Pacific with my mom and brother toward a country in the midst of civil war. I had no thoughts of war: I just wanted to see my daddy again. He was an Army major, stationed in Nanking with American embassy staff.
To my western eyes, China in ’48 was land of peculiar odors and exotic sights.

In Nanking, we Americans lived enclosed by a wall, and as Mao's forces drew closer, grown-ups began to warn, “Don’t go outside, children. You might run into Communists.” Peering at peasant farmers in padded jackets, I wondered “What’s a Communist?” By October, families were packing. Hurriedly, we took a night train to Shanghai. Then, unexpectedly, my brother got sick, so as others departed, we had to stay. My mom grew increasingly anxious, but I was wide-eyed and excited at the adventure of it all. At last, in November, Jacky was able to travel. On a cold, sunshiny day, we squeezed aboard a ship bound for Yokohama: evacuees from the Chinese civil war.
My father stayed in China another three months, until in March of ‘49, Mao’s troops took possession of Nanking.
It’s a far-different China today, and I have traveled far from the little girl I was in August of ’48. But here's what I have learned: all of life is an incredible journey, filled with the unexpected. Stay wide-eyed and excited by the adventure of it all. It's by far the happiest way to live.