Enthusiasm Takes You Further

     Years ago, when I went looking for my first job, wise advisers urged, “Barbara, be enthusiastic! Enthusiasm will take you further than any amount of experience.”

     How right they were. Enthusiastic people can turn a boring drive into an adventure, extra work into opportunity,  and strangers into friends.

    “Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm,” wrote Ralph Waldo Emerson. 

     It is the paste that helps you hang in there when the going gets tough. It is the inner voice that whispers, “I can do it!” when others shout, “No, you can’t.”
   
     We are all born with wide-eyed, enthusiastic wonder as anyone knows who has ever seen an infant’s delight at the jingle of keys or the scurrying of a beetle.

      It is this childlike wonder that gives enthusiastic people such a youthful air, whatever their age.

 
      At 90, cellist Pablo Casals would start his day by playing Bach. As the music flowed through his fingers, his stooped shoulders would straighten and joy would reappear in his eyes. 

 

     Poet Samuel Ullman wrote, “Years wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.”

 
      How do you rediscover the enthusiasm of  childhood? The answer, I believe, lies in the word itself. “Enthusiasm” comes from the Greek and means “God within.” And what is God within is but an abiding sense of love -- proper love of self (self-acceptance) and, from that, love of others.

 
       Enthusiastic people love what they do, regardless of money or title or power. If we cannot do what we love as a full-time career, we make it a part-time avocation: the head of state who paints, the nun who runs marathons, the executive who handcrafts furniture. 

       

       We need to live each moment wholeheartedly, with all our senses -- finding pleasure in a back-yard garden, the crayoned picture of a six-year-old, the  beauty of a rainbow.  Don't waste tears on “might-have-beens.” Turn tears into sweat by going after “what-can-be.”

       Enthusiastic love of life puts a sparkle in our eyes, a lilt in our steps and smooth the wrinkles from our souls.

How high is your A. Q.?

Long before researchers came up with the idea of E.Q.--Emotional Quotient-- I coined the phrase A. Q. or Anxiety Quotient.
It’s my observation that people appear to start life with a built-in level of anxiety--like an inner bucket which we fill to the brim whether our anxiety is about terrorist attacks, earthquakes, or “OMG, are people gonna notice the zit on my chin?”

Another name for people with high A.Q. is Worry Wart. It’s the mom who drives her kid crazy by insisting, “Take a jacket. Just in case.”

Or the wife--in this case, a friend of mine--who told her new husband, “Honey, call if you’re going to be late coming home because if I don’t hear I go from late to death.”

Or the micro-managing boss who anxiously hovers over every project assigned to a subordinate.

High A. Q. can paralyze. We cling to what we know. We huddle in our comfort zone. We turn away from anything new. Or different. We fail to see the power of expanding horizons. We don’t risk.

Is your A.Q high, low, or in between? To lower it, start small. Keep a journal for a week and jot down what makes you anxious. Reread it a week later. Notice how few of your worries actually came to pass.

As for me, I try and remember what Jesus said to encourage his disciples not to be anxious: "Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?"

To learn more about the book on Emotional Quotient, go to www.Amazon.com

What's Your Right Brain Doing These Days?

Recently I read My Stroke of Insight  by brain scientist Jill Bolte Taylor who suffered a massive stroke at age 37. It wiped out her left brain hemisphere, where we hold language and linear reasoning skills.

When only her right brain was functional, she discovered an incredible sense of the present moment and a feeling of peace and oneness with all, which is what mystics and spiritual gurus achieve through meditation.

Dr. Taylor is now fully recovered, but her stroke changed her. While recognizing that we need our left brain linear thinking skills, she encourages others to side-step negative left brain emotions such as anger and jealousy by choosing otherwise.

“The more aware I remain of what my brain is saying and how these thoughts feel inside my body, the more I own my power in choosing what I want to spend time thinking about and how I want to feel,” she says.

I made similar discoveries after a major life trauma in the early '90s shattered my psyche. Although not physically caused, I needed counseling to rebuild my broken sense of self. In the process, I became more conscious of my thoughts and actions, and learned how to non-judgmentally observe myself and be more accepting, compassionate, and loving. Toward myself and toward others.

I recommend Dr. Taylor’s book. http://www.mystrokeofinsight.com

Or learn more about my favorite presentation topic: “The joy of self-discovery: Getting to the heart of who you really are.” http://www.barbarabartocci.com/talks.asp

New Year, New Weight Loss Resolutions?

For many of us, the first of January means the inner diet genie emerges. "Gonna lose those holiday pounds," we proclaim. If we can be healthier by changing certain habits, we should do it---but let's make sure we're motivated, not by self-dislike ("I hate the way I look!") but rather, by loving self-acceptance.

After all, self-acceptance doesn’t mean you have to stay where you are. Our bodies are precious gifts and a blessing from our Creator. They can help us as we seek the Holy.
Let me quote a prayer from the pages of my book,
GRACE ON THE GO: Quick Prayers for Determined Dieters. 


A Prayer of YES!
"Dear Lord, I say YES!
Yes to loving myself.
I am as you made me.
Unique.
Extraordinary.
Unparalleled.
 Dear Lord, I say YES!
Yes to healthy eating.
Being active.
Choosing right.
I surrender this area of my life to God.
Dear Lord, I say YES!"

 “O God Help me To believe The truth about myself No matter How beautiful it is!” (by Macrina Wiederkehr, from Loving Yourself More, AveMaria Press p. 31)

A Cat's Tale

Lessons in life come in odd guises sometimes.

My son and daughter-in-law in San Diego owned a cat, a large gray and white puss named Oliver. Alas, Oliver began peeing on their furniture. After trying everything they could to stop the habit, they finally turned Oliver into an outdoor cat, something you can do in San Diego’s climate.

Every morning they put out food and water, but Oliver is never allowed inside. Recently, while visiting, I was sitting on their patio when Oliver appeared and jumped in my lap, obviously wanted to be petted. As I stroked him, he began to purr, and I thought: how sad. He likes to be held and loved, but chose behavior destined to lose the very thing he craves. And I wondered: don’t some human beings do the same?

Our actions inevitably do have consequences. If we want to receive love, we must act in a manner that considers the needs of others. Thank you, Oliver, for reminding me of a tough but necessary truth.

Quick Encounter

There is a gift in simply being present with someone, even if the encounter lasts only 30 seconds. When I make eye contact with the supermarket clerk or my table waiter, my eyes say "I see you. You are not a thing to me. Or merely an appendage to the cash register. You are  a person."

As we rush through our days,  let us stay conscious of each interaction. Remember that everyone we meet is a God-holder. Honor each person with eye contact and a smile. It doesn't matter if the person smiles back.  We're offering a gift, not a trade.

A caregiver's grief

Riza is 33. Her husband Tod has early-onset Parkinson’s disease. She told me, “I am grieving the loss of our dreams.”  Their dreams of having children, of watching Tod's career expand, of continuing activities  they previously enjoyed—like hiking and camping.  Riza is feeling caregivers’ grief:  the relentless on-going process brought about, not by a loved one’s death, but by the changed aspects of life.

Caregivers’ grief seldom comes in a neat, orderly package: you might feel tearful and hopeful at the very same time.  Your emotions can take as many twists and turns as your loved one’s illness. Sometimes you'd  like to run away from it all.

Riza's Prayer: O Lord, as I travel this journey

I did not choose, 

Strengthen me to cope with the messiness.

The turmoil.

And most of all,

Comfort me and my loved one.

Help us to bear our tears.